In Portugal there isn't much of a concept of a private babysitter. In other words, a nanny.
A babysitter (more common) is someone who takes care of the children from time to time and is hired for a certain period - a certain night, often.
But here the focus is on the nanny, a private babysitter who stays at home with the children every day while the parents are at work. At the children's home.
Amy, fictitious name, saw her case portrayed by her cousin on Reddit. And the central topic was vacations.
Dear Parents, YOUR VACATION is NOT your Nanny’s vacation.
by u/MissAAA_2 in EntitledPeople
When she was hired to look after four children (aged 3, 6, 8 and 12), the family immediately told her that they go on vacation every year, spending a few weeks at the beach and at Disney World (Florida, USA). They all go.
"It's very beautiful. And you'd be lucky to go. You should feel honored to be able to go to Disney World for free. It's very expensive, you'd never be able to afford it out of your own pocket," the children's father told the nanny.
Problem: did anyone ask Amy if she wanted to go?
Amy told the children's parents that she had different ideas for her vacation. The family's vacation plan is not the nanny's vacation plan .
But her parents were "beside themselves" when they realized that she didn't want to go with them to Disney World. And she didn't go.
She didn't go (either) because she gets exhausted when she's with the four children: "My cousin started having panic attacks when she started thinking about how to keep the four children safe at Disney World".
Why? Because the parents don't care about the children when they're with Amy.
And the parents threw another thing in her face: her next paycheck was going to be smaller - so they could pay for the trips and the ticket.
"I'm proud that my cousin refused to go and that she showed her family that this is a vacation for the family - not for her. The family's need to have the nanny is greater than the nanny 's desire to go," she adds.
Many parents see the nanny as a family member. They don't even think about it, it's automatic. And it can be a form of manipulation in these cases.
As Bored Panda points out, there are parents who (perhaps) involuntarily turn their nannies into mothers or fathers - more than they should be.
Monika Pašukonytė
In this context, the parents wanted to go for a walk without worrying about their children.
The key is to set boundaries. Right from the first job interview.
